


Mutually Assured Loneliness

by migratorycat



Category: Monster (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Explicit Consent, First Time Bottoming, Gentle Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, There Is Only One Bed Trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:06:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26488393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/migratorycat/pseuds/migratorycat
Summary: Takes place directly after episode 49: The Cruelest Thing. Inspired by the Tenma/Grimmer doujinshi "In the Pouring Rain".After rescuing Milosz from the red light district and dropping him off at the orphanage, Tenma and Grimmer retire to a hotel to process the day. Small mishaps lead to strong responses, and Grimmer offers Tenma relief in the night...
Relationships: Wolfgang Grimmer/Tenma Kenzou
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	Mutually Assured Loneliness

The whole way back, Milosz told them about what he had seen and his experiences in the red light district. His voice was small, and the emotion carried upon it was faint, like a trembling candle flame that had just been battered by a breath. But, protected from further harm by encircling arms and a shielding body, that flame had not yet gone out.

The boy sat between Tenma and Grimmer in the back of the taxi cab they had managed to find. Grimmer was still clinging to him - he hadn’t broken that embrace since he had engaged it back on the bridge, except to better pick him up and carry him as they left, and then finally to help his tiny body settle into the cab’s back seat and then get himself inside. Tenma kept glimpsing the light reflecting off of little wet trails running down the taller man’s face - he hadn’t stopped crying since then, either. 

His behavior earned an odd glance from the driver, but Tenma fixed the man with a dark look that could only translate to something like _it’s none of your business, so drive_ and there hadn’t been another odd glance since.

“There was… a man,” Milosz said softly, very slowly. “He was back in an alleyway, and there was a pretty lady with him. He said he was a really good teacher in Germany. The lady said something about going and getting a room, but he said no, and he told me to stay and watch, so I did…”

“Oh my God.” Grimmer squeezed Milosz in his arms, shuddering. Tenma glared out the window in silence. “Milosz, you don’t have to say any more.”

The boy made a choked sound. “Am I in trouble?”

“No, Milosz, of course not.”

“But… why are you crying, Mr. Grimmer?”

A pause. Tenma could feel him searching for an answer. “I just… I’m really glad you’re safe. Everything’s going to be okay now.”

Milosz unearthed his face from Grimmer’s soaked sweater and looked at Tenma, and the doctor’s heart swelled a little to see feelings in his eyes: curiosity, fear, _hope_. “He isn’t crying…”

Now Tenma had to search for an answer. He looked away, out the cab window and into the rain-smothered night on the countryside speeding by. A lump had made its home just below his throat when he’d seen the emotion on Grimmer’s face back on the bridge, and now it threatened to rise up and become tears as well. He swallowed it and took hold of some of his detached focus. “I’m out of tears,” he said softly.

“You can _run out_ of tears?” Milosz looked back at Grimmer, who had drawn away a little. “I hope you run out of tears soon too, Mr. Grimmer. Then you won’t have to cry anymore.”

Grimmer started to smile gently at the boy, but his lips drew back across his teeth and his eyes squeezed shut, and he lowered his face with a shiver of laughter or sobbing or coldness from being soaked to the bone or all three - but not before Tenma saw with ugly clarity the nearly skeletal grimace of explicit pain on the man’s face. The sight took some of his breath away. He reached out and gripped Grimmer’s shoulder. Grimmer looked at Tenma’s hand, then pulled Milosz back into a hug and bowed his head again.

He didn’t appear to be crying anymore.

* * *

“We only have a few rooms available, and they’re all singles. One’s a king sized bed, so I’m assuming you’ll be wanting that one.”

Tenma sighed. “Sure, that’s fine.” He was fine with sleeping on the floor; Grimmer had had one hell of a terrible day. He needed a _big_ bed all to himself.

He paid up, got a room number and some mention of a complimentary dryer service, and truly didn’t have room to care. Grimmer was watching him with heavy eyes, having not said a word since they had finished dropping Milosz off at the orphanage. “Come on,” Tenma said, and together they sought out their room.

As soon as they opened the door and the unique and alien scent of a freshly cleaned hotel room swept over them, Tenma had the strongest urge to simply flop over on the bed, clothes and body soaked to the bone and all, and go to sleep. As a doctor, he couldn’t even begin to list the vast number of reasons why that would be a terrible idea. Instead he unceremoniously deposited his blue duffle bag in a corner that would be hit by the AC and shrugged out of his jacket. Grimmer was close behind him, but he let his own duffle bag simply fall to the side, and went to the bed, bending over it and planting his hands flat upon it, breathing deeply.

Tenma just looked at him for a moment, then asked, “Grimmer, are you okay?”

The other man was silent and utterly still for what seemed like a long time. Then he huffed a laugh.

“That is a complicated question,” he replied. “What about you, Doctor Tenma? Are you okay?”

Tenma couldn’t bring himself to answer. He deflected to a more immediately important subject. “You need to get out of those clothes. You’re soaked, and I’m sure you understand the problems associated with being wet and cold for long periods of time.”

Grimmer turned his head to him. His friendly, disarming smile was back as if it had never left. The mask was up. “You’re not exactly dry, yourself.”

“One problem at a time.”

Grimmer nodded, and began to pull at his sweater to little avail - the thing was truly, _thoroughly_ soaked, the wool having absorbed lakes worth of rainwater such that it clung and weighed offensively much. “Uh… can I get some help with this? I seem to be…”

“Yeah, sure.”

Tenma helped him pull the dead weight up his back, and Grimmer handled the rest from there, dragging it over his head and flinging it to land upon his duffle bag with a loud _smack_. Grimmer turned and grinned at him. “I think I can handle the rest, of course.” Tenma nodded politely and excused himself to the bathroom, where he stripped himself and, halfway through, peeked out and tossed Grimmer one of the towels from the rack while averting his eyes.

“Thanks!”

“Mhm. Let me know when I can…”

Grimmer chuckled in such a way that Tenma could tell that it was directed _at_ him. “I’m just trying to be respectful,” Tenma muttered.

When Grimmer pointed out that, as a doctor, he had probably seen anything and everything a human body could present, including naked men, Tenma had to concede his point. Still, he waited until Grimmer signaled him before he emerged with a towel wrapped around his waist and rummaged through his duffle bag for a pair of boxers and a bedshirt. He was blushing slightly. He didn’t know why.

“I think I’m just going to go to sleep,” Grimmer mumbled as Tenma finished pulling his shirt over his head.

“Yeah, me too. I just have a few more things I need to do…”

By the time Tenma had finished his nighttime routines, Grimmer was already curled up under the covers, facing away from him - but off to one side, leaving plenty of space for him. Tenma pursed his lips.

“Grimmer…”

“Hm?”

“You can have the bed to yourself. There was a throw cover folded up in the closet - I can use that as a blanket and take a pillow and sleep on the floor.”

A pause. “...Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Really, it’s no trouble. You need good rest in a full bed.” Tenma’s expression darkened. “You... went through a lot today.”

Grimmer turned his head and looked at him with one eye. “Doctor Tenma, did you forget where _you_ were the whole day? I seem to recall you being right there by my side every step of the way. You didn’t exactly have a great time of it, either.”

“I’d say you had it a bit worse.”

“It’s not a contest.” Grimmer turned his torso halfway around this time, propping himself up temporarily on an elbow and giving Tenma a long, hard look. His expression, and his tone, were as friendly as they were skeptical. “I’m not going to allow you to sleep on the floor, Doctor Tenma. You’re sleeping in this bed, so get in.” His word was final, so he twisted back into his original position and settled himself down again under the covers.

Tenma’s shoulders slumped as his resolve deflated. Without further protest except for a dissatisfied pout that Grimmer couldn’t see, he flipped the switch on the lamp next to the bed and slipped himself under the covers. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, he froze as soon as he had settled down, facing Grimmer’s back. He couldn’t close his eyes.

Maybe if, after Grimmer had gone to sleep, he gave him some space…

“And if I wake up and catch you sleeping on the floor, then I’ll pick you up and tuck you into bed and then _I’ll_ sleep on the floor, understand?” Tenma stared at Grimmer’s back, utterly astonished. The taller man’s shoulders shook with a silent chuckle. “Besides, even if this weren’t spacious enough - I’m used to having beds that don’t have enough room for me. It comes with the territory.”

“That’s why I wanted you to have this one to yourself…” Tenma muttered, and received a disapproving grunt as a response. And then silence descended upon them.

* * *

Tenma knew that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep when he realized that _all_ of his normal mental exercises had failed him and he was still lying on his back and staring at the ceiling an hour or so later. He was thinking too much about too many things. All of the new information he’d absorbed in the past few days was buzzing around in his mind, concerning him and distracting him from peace even worse than usual.

Sighing, he sat up, then propped his pillow against the headboard and leaned back against it, then felt for the TV remote on the nightstand and turned it on. He remembered Grimmer mentioning that he was a relatively heavy sleeper, but he still turned the volume down considerably as soon as the screen came to life. Some sort of Czech drama was on - he couldn’t understand it. He started to flip through the channels to seek any sort of suitable distraction.

It was a few minutes before he came across a channel that appeared to be some sort of game show, and he thought he caught a word or two of German, so he turned up the volume a bit, and then a bit more to make sure - but, no, they went right back to speaking in Czech. Sighing, he flipped the channel again, neglecting to turn the volume back down…

… and feminine cries of ecstasy came blaring out.

Tenma was so startled by the sudden sound and horrifying context that the remote went soaring out of his hands, and he practically fell face-first from the bed trying to catch it, and then he _did_ have to fall from the bed to frantically search for where it had fallen. The moans of the woman - no, _women_ \- continued to oscillate wildly at the pleasure of their partners, joined by masculine grunts and the wet sounds of meeting flesh, as Tenma groped half-blindly around on the floor for the remote, until he finally found it and snatched it up, and he couldn’t find the mute button or relocate the power button, but the volume control was uniquely shaped and easy to find, so he mashed that and found out that he was holding the remote _backwards_ and making everything _louder_ and he _cursed_ and frantically sent the volume bar the other way until everything was finally, blessedly silent again.

With his heart just beginning to slam in his ears, Tenma heaved a quiet sigh of relief and got to his feet to find that Grimmer was sitting up, quite awake, and watching the TV with an amused expression. When that amused expression turned on him, Tenma’s stomach sank through the floor.

“Well now,” Grimmer began with a teasing tone, “getting up to some fun while I’m sleeping right next to you? I wouldn’t have thought you the type, Doctor Tenma.”

The flustered doctor stammered and waved his hands wildly in defense, almost dropping the remote again in the process. “No, no, it’s not like that at all! I just - I couldn’t sleep, so I was trying to find something to watch, and I forgot to turn down the volume, and I just happened to arrive at _that_ , and…” He was so flustered that he fell all the way back to his Japanese roots and bowed with no small amount of shame. “I’m so sorry for waking you up.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I haven’t slept a wink, either.” The friendly smile on Grimmer’s face drifted away as he gazed back at the TV. The skin-colored light cast deep shadows across his features. “I can’t stop thinking about everything.”

Tenma followed Grimmer’s eyes in time to see a closeup of impressively long _physicality_ slowly parting the lips of the wet, pink orifice between the lead woman’s pale spread thighs and sliding in. Grimmer whistled. “Gosh, that’s quite the tool he’s got on him.”

“ _Uh_.” Tenma fumbled at the remote, squinting through the dark. “I can’t find the… power button…” Giving up, he turned on the lamp for aid. “Oh, here it is.”

It took him longer than he would have liked to finally turn the TV off, since he had to aim the remote at it perfectly and mentally beg it to pick up the remote’s signal several times. It was during those precious few moments that Tenma bore witness to the actress’s look of ecstasy and the sight of her legs trembling as her incredibly showy orgasm took hold of her. When the screen finally went black, he couldn’t tell whether the still image of her hadn’t yet faded from the screen or it was just burned into his vision. The damage was _thoroughly_ done; Tenma turned to face directly away from Grimmer, masking the real intent of the movement by sitting on the bed, and pouted angrily into the distance while the heat gathered between his legs and became something real.

“Oh,” Grimmer said behind him. “Did you get bothered, then?”

The heat ascended to his face. Tenma pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and tried to imagine himself somewhere far away from any other person in the world, and couldn’t, because the situation was too real and too horrible. He stood up and tried to ignore the way his erection pressed proudly at the fabric of his boxers. Thankfully the path to the bathroom was still in the opposite direction from Grimmer.

“I’m going to take a cold shower,” he shakily declared, then mumbled something about needing to wash the rainwater off anyway.

“Really? Why don’t you just take care of it?”

“Wh…” Tenma blushed furiously. Reaching the bathroom, he entered and hid his lower half from Grimmer behind the doorframe. Grimmer’s disarming expression, and the way it made Tenma actually picture himself trying to do what Grimmer was talking about, was appalling to him. “You mean with you _right there_? I… God, _no_!” He shut the door quickly.

His whole body was alert by the time he reached the shower and turned it on. His hand shook unsteadily under the stream of water as he tested the temperature so he could adjust it to his liking. He was so absorbed in his task and forgetting the situation that when he turned to begin undressing, the sight of Grimmer standing right next to him pulled a shocked cry out of him and sent him stumbling until his back hit the smooth tile wall.

“G…!” Tenma managed half of the first syllable, at least.

Grimmer was smiling, of course. “You know,” he said, “I could take care of it for you.”

“You…” Tenma stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted, utterly unable to process anything significant and starting to breathe deeply from being startled twice in the span of less than five minutes. His heart started pounding. Then he began to comprehend the words that Grimmer had spoken, but not quite their meaning.

“I told you I read all about you,” said Grimmer, looking right into his eyes. “Your engagement to your fiance broke off over ten years ago, and I didn’t find any references to any serious relationships since that time. If I have you pegged right, I bet you were completely absorbed in your work, and quite happy with it, too. You probably didn’t have time to pursue anyone even if you’d wanted to. So, with those conclusions drawn, and seeing how something as little as that set you off, I’m curious, Doctor Tenma: when was the last time you were intimate with somebody?”

Tenma met him with uncomprehending silence despite slowly beginning to understand. Grimmer’s friendly smile somehow softened further. “If I’m right,” he said quietly, “the last time was probably over a decade ago, with your fiance.”

The doctor _really_ heard this; suddenly the heat inside him seemed uniquely intense, and the years weighed heavy on him in a way that they never had until that moment. He let out a fluttering breath. “What did you say?” he asked.

“I could help you take care of it,” Grimmer offered again. An unsubtle flick of his eyes and nod of his head downward clarified the pronoun game involving _it_.

“You…” Tenma swallowed. “You mean, you’re…”

He smiled warmly. “Yeah. I’m propositioning you.” His smile was _so_ warm, like the smile of someone who was making small talk but genuinely cared about it. Like he was saying something as casual as _the weather is so nice today_.

After a few moments that smile faded a little bit. “I can tell by your expression that you aren’t angry or disgusted… I didn’t think you would be, and I’m glad. But, Doctor Tenma, are you…?”

“I’m confused,” Tenma blurted. 

Confused _began_ to describe him. Tenma felt like a half-full glass of cold water that had just been filled the rest of the way with boiling water and then vigorously stirred. All the centers in this brain were going wild with icy alarm that spread to his shoulders and hands, while his chest and thighs and the space _between_ his thighs was a hot tempest that gave not the slightest indication of calming down. He was stuck in a loop of discovering ideas like _a person is propositioning me in a sexual manner,_ and, _this person is a man,_ and, _I am in favor of this,_ then comprehending those ideas, then being shocked by the next batch of ideas that appeared, over and over again. Except that his mind was in such shock that it had been strictly excluded from taking part in this process, so without conscious thought to sort through the mess, these revelations were resolving themselves in his body as mounting panic - rapid heartbeat, mild shortness of breath, shaky limbs and muscle stiffness, and sweat - and _constant, unrelenting arousal_.

Yes - he was deeply confused.

Leaning heavily against the bathroom wall, he sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. It didn’t help in the slightest. “I…” he began, and had to swallow and start over. He dropped his gaze to the floor, but then he could see his erection and that made the situation slightly more frightening, so he looked at the water hitting the shower floor nearby. “I, uh… I’ve never had this sort of response to a - a man before. And I’ve only ever been with one person. A woman. So… I never would have _thought_ that I would react...” In spite of himself, he smiled at the absurdity of the fact that he was saying these words. “So of course, I’ve never even so much as _kissed_ a -”

Tenma stopped moving his lips out of necessity because Grimmer’s lips had closed upon them. While he stood stone-still, his eyes wide open and staring into the distance past Grimmer’s cheek, Grimmer kissed him, hard enough that it could never be called chaste, yet gently enough that it couldn’t be mistaken for forceful. Electricity seemed to surge up Tenma’s spine and through his limbs until his entire body was tingling. Hairs all across his skin stood straight up. Oil had been thrown on the fire below.

Grimmer drew away before Tenma could process it all enough to respond. Tenma also felt Grimmer’s hand leave the back of his head; he abruptly understood that the other man had put it there not to stop him from pulling away, but to make sure his skull didn’t bump the hard bathroom wall. Tenma let out the breath that he realized he didn’t have to hold, but drawing another one was laborious, and a great shudder ran all the way through him. He wanted to sag back against the wall and, perhaps, melt into a puddle of something with the consistency of surgical lubricant jelly.

Grimmer was smiling, of course. There was a playful spark in his eye. “There,” he said, “now you’ve kissed a man! It’s a lot like kissing a woman, isn’t it?”

Tenma could only stare at him with his lips slightly parted in a bewildered gape. The doctor was breathing hard, deeply. He couldn’t summon words.

Grimmer’s smile began to drift away, and his brows drew together with concern. “Your expression… you’re not angry, but… oh.” He stopped. Then, “ _oh_ ,” he repeated, and now there was something sad in his voice. “You’re… scared.”

The change in Grimmer’s demeanor was instant. He held out his hands as if reaching out to soothe a small, timid creature. “I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “Doctor Tenma, please don’t be afraid. I wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to. I realize now that I kind of have you cornered, here - I’m sorry that I put you in this situation. I shouldn’t have kissed you that way.” The tall man straightened and put a friendly smile back on his face, closing his eyes for it. It was completely believable. “Please, go ahead with your shower. I’ll go back to bed and we can pretend that this never happened.”

He began to turn away. 

“No, _wait_ -” Tenma didn’t know what kind of forces were at play in his body that would make him push off the wall and surge forward so quickly, but that was what he did before Grimmer could move any further, seizing the sleeves of the taller man’s white bedshirt in tight, trembling fists. Looking up, Tenma fixed him with a gaze that he himself felt was pleading. His mind didn’t understand quite what he was pleading for, and that was causing him no small amount of distress - but his _body_ knew, and it pulsed with the knowing.

Grimmer looked down at him with an astonished expression and said his name, but Tenma barely heard him. He was paralyzed again. He _was_ afraid, and he didn’t know why, or what specifically he was afraid of. He only knew that he couldn’t verbalize what he wanted. His body, pulsing; his mind, whirling; his groin, _aching_ ; it was all so much at once.

“Please,” he breathed, his voice tiny, his lips barely moving. Somehow he was able to will himself to move himself closer to Grimmer. Tenma stared unflinchingly into his eyes until a look of calm and curious understanding passed over his countenance, and he gracefully lowered his head so Tenma could reach his face, so the doctor could have the kiss that only a fraction of himself understood that he wanted.

Tenma was an active participant this time. He conceded naturally to the sway of the pace that Grimmer set, and when Grimmer tilted his head slightly and deepened the kiss, Tenma followed suit without hesitation. From there it escalated, until his face was hot and his breath was short, and he was trembling with a million electric sensations. He tasted Grimmer’s tongue, feeling weak.

Grimmer stopped it by very gently taking Tenma’s lower lip in his teeth so that he couldn’t move anymore - a gesture that sent a wave of shocked warmth snaking down his spine - and then letting go. The taller man drew back a little. Tenma’s eyes opened and met his with the barest spark of lucidity. Grimmer’s breath was deep but even, though a tiny bead of sweat appeared from within his short hair and threatened to fall across his face. He smiled, but the look was tenuous.

“I’m a little confused too, now,” he said uncertainly. “Tenma, please… tell me what you’re thinking. I need a little help understanding you right now.”

 _I need a little help understanding myself right now_ , Tenma thought. It was the first conscious thought that he’d had since he’d entered the bathroom. 

Just like that, his mind seemed to snap back into place, and he could _think_ again… sort of. “I,” he managed to say, but gave up briefly with a breathless laugh and a suffering, despairing twist of his face that resembled a grin. “I’m… just…” He shivered violently, like a huge bucket of ice water had just been poured over his head, and his poor excuse for a smile vanished. His hands, still gripping Grimmer’s sleeves, were hurting. “I think I…”

“You’re shaking,” Grimmer observed quietly. Then Tenma found himself being pulled into Grimmer’s arms, into a firm embrace. He stared dizzily past Grimmer’s shoulder, while Grimmer’s voice came soft and smooth next to his head.

“Tenma, listen,” Grimmer began, “if you say yes… I promise, we won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. And if you do get uncomfortable and you want to stop, all you have to do is say so. I will honor that. If you refused me, I wouldn’t think any less of you. I don’t want you to feel pressured.” The embrace became comfortingly tight. “It’s all up to you.”

As Grimmer spoke, Tenma’s eyes widened until they were open almost as wide as they could be. When Grimmer said _it’s all up to you_ , his vision blurred over.

A realization had crept into him, slowly at first, and then it pounced upon his heart like a dark beast.

Images and memories flashed through his mind of every time Eva had dragged him away from whatever he had been doing, seizing him by the tie, or the shirt collar, or the hand or arm, or even his belt. He remembered stumbling after her, and how his body heated up every time.

 _Am I in trouble?_ he’d asked once, early on in their relationship, before he’d understood the way things were going to be. She’d looked back at him while leading him relentlessly along. Her crimson lips were quirked in a wicked smile, full of the certainty of her control.

 _You will be if you don’t lay me nice and hard tonight_ , she’d replied. And instantly he was ready and willing. 

_Yes ma’am,_ he'd said with enthusiasm, and trotted after her, not needing to be led, like a young dog excited for a spontaneous walk. He’d never needed to revoke his consent. He’d wanted it every time.

And now, here was a person who was telling him _you can say no if you want to_.

 _I lied, Milosz_ , Tenma thought. _I haven’t run out of tears._ He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his face against Grimmer’s shirt to fight them.

“Well,” Grimmer said with a sigh, “this is going all wrong. I just want to make you feel good.”

“ _Why?”_ Tenma asked suddenly, managing to breathe away that brief battle with tears. “Why are you offering this to me?”

Grimmer’s entire body went still. He seemed to not even be breathing. A few very long moments stretched out before he answered in a quiet voice, and with a hushed tone that gave Tenma the solemn feeling that Grimmer was telling him a secret that he hadn’t told anyone else in his entire life.

“They took my emotions away, and wiped my memories from my mind…” he murmured. “But… they didn’t take anything else. My body works just fine. I feel pain, and pleasure.” Tenma realized what he meant only a moment before he went on to explain. “I can’t get any enjoyment out of the taste of food, but when I do something like exercise, I feel good afterwards. When I finish having sex, I feel good then, too. It’s a wonder I’m not an addict to either of those things.” Tenma felt Grimmer’s arms tense around him. He couldn’t see his expression, but he knew that Grimmer was wearing his usual friendly smile, masking everything - or nothing - beneath. 

“After everything that’s happened lately, Doctor Tenma…” He paused, frozen, and then he spoke in a voice just above a whisper. “I need to feel good tonight.”

Tenma was thinking to himself that it made sense that the natural hormonal reactions from activities like sex and exercise would still fulfill a victim of 511 Kinderheim regardless of the brainwashing that had been inflicted upon them. After all, an orgasm was mostly a physical thing; the brain releases a flood of dopamine during and after sex to encourage a person to do it again and play out their biological role. And it made sense that the instructor-abusers had avoided sexually traumatizing their charges, given that such trauma wouldn’t be conducive to creating the perfect citizens…

He spent so much time reflecting upon this, not replying to Grimmer, that the other man hastily amended his statements. “But - only if you want to.”

“I…” Tenma swallowed. “I do.” It was the truth, he realized. He was pulsing with desire and couldn’t deny that. “I want to accept your offer.”

“Are you sure?”

Tenma pulled back to look Grimmer in the eyes. He could feel that his own eyes were wide and fearful, which he couldn’t help; he was so charged and full of some lingering confusion, but he could tell that the vast majority of him was in agreement.

“I want to feel good,” he said.

Grimmer kissed him again. Their breaths clashed and mingled in warm whirlwinds. The shower was still running, and had begun to fill the bathroom with a light humidity. At length Grimmer pressed a hand flat against Tenma’s chest, pulling away to nuzzle his jawline, and Tenma soon discovered that he very much liked to be kissed at a certain spot on his neck. Grimmer’s hand rotated as it trailed downward so that his long fingers led the way. They stopped at the rim of his boxers.

“Is this okay?” Grimmer asked.

“Yes,” Tenma replied, voice cracking just a little. Grimmer’s fingers slipped under the fabric, coming into contact with his skin, and then his hand searched - and _found_.

Tenma gasped and recoiled bodily until his back hit the bathroom wall just a few inches away, and Grimmer closed the distance that he had created, his free arm pulling Tenma back to his body. Tenma gripped him by the shoulders. The sensation of Grimmer’s palm pressed against the underside, fingers wrapping around his length, was so shocking, so _alien_ after so long without another person’s touch. He nearly forgot to breathe. Then Grimmer began to rub him, and he remembered to take in another breath after he moaned.

“Grimmer,” he breathed. His entire world seemed to shift back and forth with the motion of Grimmer’s hand; he sagged against him, staring past his shoulder and seeing nothing at all, trembling under the force of this pleasure that he was only now being reminded was so wonderful. 

Grimmer kissed him, and Tenma mechanically tried to kiss him back, but his senses overwhelmed him with heat, and the knowledge of what kissing was and how to perform it simply drained out of him. His eyes drifted shut, and he gaped against Grimmer’s cotton shirt, dizzy and hot, succumbing utterly to his touch. “Grimmer…”

Alarmingly, the hand stopped. “Is something wrong?” Grimmer asked him.

Tenma blinked away shock and answered, “No, no, not at all.” And then, “Please don’t stop.”

“Okay.”

Grimmer resumed his ministrations by giving a brief round of special attention to the frenulum with the heel of his palm, and Tenma sucked in a hiss through his teeth as every part of that sensitive area lit up with stimulation at once, shooting tingles right down to his feet until his legs felt like jelly. He fought not to let out a whimper and managed to only groan instead. Even that made him cringe and glance away in reflexive, trained embarrassment; Eva had always despised him making noise.

But Grimmer took the opportunity presented when Tenma turned his head and leaned in to kiss the doctor’s neck again with enthusiasm. Tenma felt Grimmer’s tongue on his skin in the same rhythm as his hand stroked him, and together those sensations felt _so_... 

Suddenly he was filled with warm sparks, and the heat began to coalesce inside him, and the pressure was building, building, and he was going to…

“Wait,” Tenma said frantically, pulling away, “stop, stop!” The elastic inside his boxers waistband slapped his skin as Grimmer’s hand pulled free, and Tenma held the man at arms’ length, frozen, breathing heavily, looking at the floor. He’d already fallen back on his old habit of mentally reciting the scientific names of the subregions of the brain in a random order, but for a moment he thought he was going to come anyway - then that wonderful threatening feeling began to subside, and he was _not_ done.

“What is it?” Grimmer studied him, looking terribly confused. “Did I do something to upset you?”

Tenma gulped down a few breaths of air before he replied. “No, I was just - for a second there, I was about to… well, finish.”

“Oh!” The taller man grinned. “Yeah, it’s quick when you haven’t done it for a while, isn’t it?”

When Tenma’s gaze dropped to the floor out of shame, Grimmer held out his hands placatingly. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed. I was about to tell you - if you kept saying my name like that, I couldn’t be sure I would make it to the bed.”

Tenma’s head snapped back up, his eyes wide. “The bed…”

Grimmer was silent, searching his face, smiling softly. Tenma, meanwhile, felt himself going pale and crimson in equal measure.

“Do you want to keep going?” Grimmer asked him.

 _Do I?_ he asked himself, and was answered with a resounding, _yes I do._

He nodded, perhaps a little more gravely than was warranted. “Let’s go.”

Grimmer offered his hand, and Tenma took it, and let himself be led - 

“Oh, wait.” The doctor belatedly remembered to go back and turn off the shower; it had been running the entire time, filling the room with hot humidity. When he was done, he took Grimmer’s hand again and let himself be led into the bedroom - and Grimmer stopped, looking at him quizzically. 

“I have to ask, before we continue, Doctor Tenma: which position would you like to take?”

It took a moment for Tenma to take his meaning; long enough that he clarified, “Would you rather give, or receive?”

Aghast, Tenma looked away again. He had subconsciously known what he wanted this entire time, and he could picture it clearly now in his mind’s eye, and throbbed at the image; but now he had to _say_ it, and he wasn’t sure that he could. “I…” he started, swallowing. “I want _you_ to… to…” The rest emerged haltingly. “Do… it… to me.”

Grimmer startled him with a kiss on the cheek. “As you wish,” he replied cheerfully, leading Tenma onward.

It was mutually yet wordlessly decided that he would sit at the foot of the bed while Grimmer went to rummage through his duffel bag. Tenma hesitated a moment, then shrugged his shirt off over his head and tossed it over near his own bag. 

The sound of it landing on the floor alerted Grimmer; he glanced around to see Tenma bare-chested, and said, “Oh! I wanted to do that.”

Tenma looked at the floor. “Sorry.”

“You can do mine, if you want.”

“Oh - uh... okay.”

Grimmer came over to him, planting his hands on the bed to either side of him and getting up close. Tenma instinctually retreated until he was forced to fall on his back, startled, but after a second of getting reoriented, he lifted his hands and found the edge of Grimmer’s shirt, and - and pulled it up, helping it over Grimmer’s arms. Grimmer flung it to the side, forgotten. Then he bowed his head and kissed Tenma’s chest, and his thumbs slipped under the elastic band of Tenma’s boxers, pulling them down and out from under him, then they, too, were gone, and Tenma was entirely exposed and excitedly uncomfortable. Yet he reached out in turn and began to slip Grimmer’s boxers off of his hips, but they caught on his front, requiring Grimmer’s help…

“Oh,” Tenma murmured in surprise, eyes widening, as the garment puddled at Grimmer’s feet, revealing him.

The taller - bigger - man chuckled. “Well, you know what they say about tall guys.”

He did, but he’d seen enough genitalia in his days as a doctor to know that _what they said_ about big feet or long fingers or one’s height - or anything really - had no real correlation to anything. It wasn’t that Grimmer was exuberantly gifted, but he certainly surpassed the average by a steady degree. Still, seeing this manhood healthy and engorged and ready for _him_ was… intimidating.

“You want to touch it?” Grimmer’s tone was in no way seductive; it was gentle but excited, even playful.

Tenma took a deep breath and lifted his hand mechanically until his fingertips barely brushed the length. His breath catching, a flood of warmth dripped its way down his body at the touch, emboldening him. He wrapped his fingers around it with a small shiver and then, fueled by a sudden fire in his breast, gripped and stroked slowly, feeling the way the flesh of his foreskin flexed and stretched beneath his hand. He heard a little sound in Grimmer’s chest that he couldn’t be sure he hadn’t imagined. 

He wasn’t at it for long before Grimmer gently took his hand away, smiling down at him.

“I’ll be right back,” said Grimmer, and promptly turned away and ducked back down to his duffle bag to resume rummaging. Tenma relaxed on the bed and closed his eyes while he waited, listening to the pouring rain outside and the hum of the AC unit. For just a moment, the slightest moment, the sounds almost calmed him.

Grimmer stood back up, looming over him. “Bad news, Doctor Tenma. I’ve got a condom, but it appears I don’t have enough lube left for you to receive me safely.”

Tenma felt a pang of disappointment rock him. “That’s too bad.” Then a realization rocked him instead, and his face heated as his hands leapt to cover it. “ _Oh._ ”

Grimmer blinked at him. “What is it?”

The doctor sighed deeply. “I have… some surgical lubricant in my bag.” He dragged the words out of himself. With a huff he heaved himself up and stumbled over to his duffle bag, now somewhat dry, and began his own rummaging. “Never thought I’d use it for anything like this.”

The taller man chuckled. “I think you’ll find that people all over the world have gotten way more creative than this for sex.”

Tenma’s lips curled in a small smile somehow. “Maybe.” He heard Grimmer step into the bathroom and return, and glanced back briefly to see him spreading a towel across the bed.

Light glinted off the jar from its little hiding spot near the corner of his medical supplies bag. He plucked it from its space and stood up. “H-”

Grimmer was standing right behind him again. He was tall and naked and had a large erection sheathed in a whitish condom, and Tenma himself was naked and had a somewhat smaller erection, and here came the revelations all over again, kicking his heart and all his senses into overdrive. He closed his eyes and held out the lubricant, and Grimmer took it from him.

“Tenma…” Grimmer whispered. A long moment passed. Tenma opened his eyes - Grimmer was smiling down at him. “Shall we continue?”

The both of them crawled back onto the bed, with Tenma arraying himself over the towel that Grimmer had laid out. Grimmer settled himself nearby on his side and opened the jar, setting it behind him where he could easily reach it. Tenma, who had lain on his side facing Grimmer, stared at the man with a faltering expression, unsure of what to do now. In response Grimmer held his arms out, and after a moment Tenma realized he was beckoning him. Shimmying on his side, he brought himself close, and Grimmer took him into a bodily embrace. He gently lifted Tenma’s leg and draped it across his hip. Tenma felt themselves brush together below, and the low-burning fires of suspense in his body roiled for a moment, but that didn’t seem to be Grimmer’s focus; Grimmer kept making small adjustments to their positions until the space between them dwindled down to almost nothing. Grimmer’s gently smiling face hovered not even inches away.

“There we go,” he said with a satisfied nod. Tenma blinked away the wind of his words and gazed up at him with anticipation. Outside the rain faltered and then poured with renewed vigor. Tenma breathed in their mingling scents, the scent of the clean hotel room, the freshly washed sheets. He leaned his head forward and pressed his forehead to Grimmer’s skin.

“Now we stretch you out a bit,” Grimmer informed him. His other arm, snaked under Tenma’s body, shifted until his hand began to creep up Tenma’s back, until his fingers delved into his long hair and gently pulled his head back. Tenma exhaled a short breath as Grimmer’s lips descended to his, and instantly he was lost in the kiss, barely feeling Grimmer’s thumb trace its way across the leg that was lying across his hip. It circled its way behind him, and Tenma’s eyes snapped open upon feeling one prodding, wet finger asking entrance at the door of his flesh, then gently, gently, gently slipping inside.

He tensed. “It’s alright,” Grimmer whispered against his cheek. His finger came deeper, deeper, and then curled slightly - and Tenma felt a tiny burst of pleasure like a sudden, overpoweringly sweet scent. He gasped against Grimmer’s neck.

“There it is!” Grimmer said, his voice a grin.

“Yes, that _is_ my prostate gland,” Tenma confirmed with some chagrin.

Grimmer chuckled, and his finger started to flex and move, small motions meant to change their surroundings, to ease in new ideas. Tenma began to tremble meanwhile as he reconciled this unfamiliar sensation inside him. At one point it became too much, and in a desperate attempt to distract himself, he planted a forceful kiss upon Grimmer’s neck.

“Hey, no hickeys,” Grimmer joked, and pulled Tenma’s head up so that he could kiss him again with the same forcefulness he had just demonstrated. Tenma gaped, taken aback, but he responded immediately when Grimmer’s tongue searched for his. The distraction was successful; as they kissed, Tenma did not notice when a second finger joined the first and began to make scissoring, stretching motions with its partner. Utterly absorbed, Tenma threw his arm around Grimmer’s torso and pulled himself closer until they were pressing breast to heaving breast as their breaths quickened.

Tenma did not notice when Grimmer’s fingers eventually left him, but he did notice when Grimmer rolled him onto his back, breaking the kiss and coming to hover over him. For a few quiet moments they stared at one another. Tenma became aware of the slightest soreness that Grimmer’s fingers had wrought, and the next logical step entered his mind and sped his pulse.

“Are you ready?” Grimmer asked him. He wasn’t smiling - his face was unnaturally blank, devoid of emotions. Somewhere deep in Tenma’s mind floated the realization that Grimmer was likely focused and forgetting to play at having feelings. Or perhaps, trusting that Tenma’s trepidations were fading away, he had dropped the facade again in the same way that he had shown his trust today and told his story. Tenma suddenly felt a pang of heartache.

Eyes wide, he nodded. Grimmer sat up and reached over with his long arm to fetch the pillow he had been sleeping on, and worked with Tenma to insert it under the towel and below Tenma’s hips to raise them up a little. Then he reached over and dipped his fingers into the lubricant - _It’s contaminated now, going to have to get some more,_ Tenma noted to himself - and slathered a generous amount across the surface of the condom. Tenma spread his legs and Grimmer found his place between them. His hands - one slick with lube - gripped Tenma’s hips, adjusting him until he was situated for both their comfort. Then Grimmer’s slick hand left him to grip himself, to guide. Tenma felt his impending presence like a physical burden. The ten million possibilities of how it might feel manifested in his body as a bloom of anxious ache below.

“Remember, there’s always time to turn back,” Grimmer reminded him. “You can _always_ say stop. Do you understand?”

“I know.” Tenma swallowed hard. “I’m just nervous. I’ve never done this.” Grimmer already knew that. He was blathering. Tenma pressed his lips together fiercely.

Grimmer’s hand came to rest briefly on Tenma’s chest, over his heart. Taking his pulse, probably. “I’ll guide you through it. There’s nothing to worry about.”

He felt it - Grimmer was pressing against him, on the precipice of parting his flesh. Every inch of him tensed up.

Grimmer stopped. “I can feel your whole body clenching - you even just made the bed move. I need you to try and relax, okay? Otherwise it could end up hurting.”

Tenma stopped gritting his teeth with effort and gave a curt nod. Relax… how could he relax? The only tools he really had for relaxing were recitations of various biological systems and their relationships. That always got him into the right mindset before surgery - or exams, when he had been in college. But he wasn’t about to do surgery or take a test.

“I’m not sure how I’ll do that,” Tenma admitted.

Grimmer straightened a little and fingered his chin in thought. “Oh - I could try kissing your neck. I noticed you really seemed to like that. You could hardly stand up in the bathroom.”

Tenma blushed as Grimmer leaned down and tucked his face into the curve of Tenma’s jaw. His tongue flicked out just once to tease the doctor’s skin, and just like that, every muscle came alive and sagged in submission, his whole body erupting in tingling, warm blossoms of pleasure, like drops of dye plunging and unfurling in water. Tenma could have sworn that he sank further into the mattress, but he knew that it was just his senses playing with him the way Grimmer was toying with his neck with light, fleeting kisses.

He almost felt like a lifeless doll when Grimmer’s other hand lifted him just slightly and then guided their flesh together. He felt the exploration, the gentle breach of his body - he sucked in a long, long breath - and then Grimmer was inside him and slowly going deeper. Tenma uttered a wordless sound.

The foreign, violating sensation of being penetrated twisted into a strange distortion, as if his soul were stripped bare for a stranger, as if his physical form were suddenly no longer private and sacred to himself. As if something erupting inside him was suffocating him. He could diagram exactly where Grimmer was inside his body, name every organ and nerve group. By his own expertise _and_ the bloom of pleasure within he knew precisely when the man had passed over his prostate gland again to go further. His breathing quickened and he squeezed his eyes shut. He gathered the sheets in his fists. Somehow he managed to not flex more relevant muscles.

“Doing okay?” Grimmer asked, having stopped attending his neck. The intrusion of his casual voice in the rhythm of Tenma’s breathing was like a scream in a library. Tenma could only respond with a meaningless noise. “Doctor Tenma?”

He opened his eyes and looked straight up at Grimmer, who was gazing down at him with an intensely focused look. Grimmer touched his cheek.

“I know, it feels very strange your first time,” said Grimmer. “For most people, I think, there’s a lot of trust involved. And I know you haven’t been able to trust anyone in a long time.”

Tenma stared, his throat frozen, his chest tangled.

Grimmer lowered himself down with careful movements. His hands burrowed under Tenma’s torso and his arms wrapped around the smaller man in a loose embrace. He put his forehead to Tenma’s and spoke in a tender whisper.

He said, “Forget about all the bad things out there for just one moment. We’re safe here. We’ll deal with everything tomorrow.”

A lump rose in Tenma’s throat as all the _bad things out there_ flashed through his mind in the face of Grimmer’s comforting assurances. His heart twisted. It was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. “I can’t do that. You know I can’t.”

“Well… can you put your faith in me for just one night, then?” Grimmer pushed his hips forward ever so slightly, pushing himself further in, and oh God, it must have hit some sort of threshold or slid against the prostate again, because suddenly, with Grimmer’s pelvis pressed against Tenma’s skin and inside as far as he could go, and with that question posed - with that word, _faith_ \- suddenly things felt more aligned, more fair.

Tenma closed his lips as Grimmer kissed him once, briefly, and then drew back just a few inches and smiled down at him. It was a learned smile, Tenma knew that, but he fell for it all the same.

“Can you trust me with your body tonight?”

Tenma felt a building pressure inside him. It wanted to bubble up out of his chest and explode out of his mouth. For a moment he wanted to throw his limbs in every direction at once and cast off his flesh. In his stomach a tempest twisted and churned, rousing him deeply. He reached up and pulled Grimmer down, kissing him as hard as he dared. The man uttered a “mmf!” and kissed him back with enthusiasm. Tenma wrapped his arms around Grimmer and held him tight.

When they broke apart, Tenma hissed, “I need to try.”

Grimmer wasted no time. He pulled back his hips, withdrawing just so.

“Oh,” Tenma breathed. Then Grimmer pushed back into him, gently, gently, and all that friction sent a lovely wave crawling up his body. “Oh…” It still felt strange, but now there was more to it, and that more was friendly to him.

 _I trust you,_ Tenma thought to himself over and over again, _I trust you, Grimmer._ His thoughts made it real; the sense of violation melted away under the oppressive heat of intimacy. Entangled in Grimmer’s embrace, he felt a growing warmth seed from pinpricks at a dozen points in his body. Every thrust began to feel good... and then wonderful. Tenma found himself groaning and sighing, little sounds emerging frequently from deep within his chest, quieted by fears of being heard. He hugged Grimmer’s torso and wrapped his legs around his waist, and that only improved the angle of attack; panting, he threw his head back against the pillow and tried not to begin crying out, struggling to restrict his expressions of pleasure to quiet gasps and little moans. He gaped past Grimmer’s shoulder, at times silently screaming.

Grimmer sat up at one point and gazed down at him, face blank except for an intense look of interest in his eye. His face, looking so, and his body, athletically working specific muscle groups to thrust into Tenma, seemed oddly disconnected.

“Doctor Tenma, your expression…” Grimmer trailed off, perhaps in awe. “You seem so desperate.” He did not stop thrusting for even a moment. Tenma looked up at him, indeed desperate. “I wonder what’ll happen if I do this…?”

Without preamble, Grimmer took hold of Tenma below with a lubricated hand and began to stroke him vigorously. Tenma _did_ cry out, once, and shut his eyes as a few stars swam across his vision.

“Oh,” Grimmer murmured as Tenma thrashed his head to one side on the pillow, eyes squeezed shut, barely breathing, gritting his teeth. “You look like you’re in pain, actually, even though I know you’re not.”

Tenma smiled through the ecstasy twisting his expression. It was perhaps the first genuine smile that had appeared on his face in months.

Grimmer stroked him to the time of his thrusts, which were faster now. The smacks of their flesh meeting was muted only slightly by the towel underneath them. Tenma had no space in his head to spare hope that the neighboring rooms couldn’t hear them.

“Grimmer…” He panted, his throat dry. “If you don’t stop soon, I’m going to…”

Grimmer smiled. “That’s perfectly fine. My ultimate goal, in fact.”

Tenma moaned aloud.

It gathered in him, swirling, churning, frothing, a decade in the making. He went still, paralyzed by it, enraptured, captured by it utterly, and it bubbled up, rose, rose… Grimmer thrust into him harder and his hand was merciless. Tenma’s breathing sped up further, rising, and then halting - he clapped a hand over his mouth and turned his head aside before he groaned as if facing death - and it exploded, a flower blooming in a timelapse inside him, and his release came in steady and powerful pulses upon his chest and Grimmer’s fingers. His free hand seized Grimmer’s forearm, clenching, spasming. He felt his brow flood with heat. He moaned pitifully into his hand. It went on for ages and the mess of his soul writhed throughout, dying with relief. He whimpered once, head to toe trembling uncontrollably, and at length sagged bodily, the pleasure leaving him slowly in ebbs and flows like the withdrawing tide.

Grimmer stopped stroking him when he tiredly put a hand on his to signal him to do so, but he did not stop thrusting. The echoes of his breath, hard and similarly desperate as he had been, simmered in Tenma’s ringing ears. He watched, barely conscious of his own body’s role in it, as Grimmer’s own release took him - the look of sexual pleasure like pain washing across his face in a happy grimace. And then _he_ groaned, and stiffened, and his thrusts came harder along with his breath. 

“Tenma,” he panted, “Tenma…”

He rode it out, and Tenma was happy to let him, studying _his_ expression in turn - finding likely the most genuine emotion that could be found on his face. A sensual frown, full of self-focus, pained in the way only an orgasm could injure. After a short while he slowed, and finally stopped.

At last it was over for them both. Grimmer quietly issued a warning, then carefully pulled out, minding Tenma’s state. Oddly, the sensation of him withdrawing for good was as alien as his entry had been. Once bereft, the lack seemed almost depressing.

Grimmer got up and disposed of the condom while Tenma wiped himself off with the towel, then went to the bathroom and courteously washed as much of the leavings as he could off of the fabric. He left it on the floor, wiped himself off more intimately, then returned to bed and turned off his lamp after dressing again. Grimmer hummed to himself while he did his own cleaning up, and Tenma recognized it as the Japanese song that he’d sung to him on the train to Prague.

Tenma sat on the bed and rested his elbows on his thighs. Behind he had started to ache with soreness from the physical abuse of sex. He knew, clinically, the symptoms for tearing, but knowing something clinically and knowing it physically were two very different beasts. At least he didn't _feel_ injured. 

He turned his head and stared at the man he had just slept with. Grimmer was bent over the sink in the bathroom, splashing his face with water. He seemed so normal, doing this routine thing, and he had been so gentle and caring. If he didn't understand the nuance of emotion, Tenma wondered, frowning, where had he learned to exercise the kind of intimate care he had displayed? To wait with patience and evaluate someone's needs?

Maybe… maybe sex was simpler to understand than how to react to a kidnapped child. Maybe it was like hunger. When someone is hungry, you feed them. When someone desires you, you…

A flicker of warmth heated his cheeks.

Grimmer shut off the water and scrubbed his face with the towel he'd tucked under his arm. He hung the towel back on the rack and emerged from the bathroom to regard Tenma with a bright - but blank - expression.

 _Do I really need to think about this? Does it matter?_ Tenma asked himself. _He was kind to me. He… I think he's a good man._

Grimmer put his hands on his hips and grinned down at him. “So, did you enjoy yourself?”

"You don't have to smile for me," Tenma said softly.

Grimmer shook his head. "That's the thing, my whole body feels good right now. I think a person should be smiling in a moment like this, so… that's what I'm doing!" He clasped his hands behind him and leaned slightly to one side. "You didn't answer my question, though."

"Oh." Tenma glanced at the floor. "Uh, yeah. I did. Enjoy myself, I mean."

Grimmer nodded. "That's great. I'm really glad to hear that."

But more things to say were bubbling around in Tenma's chest, hurting to be said. He looked the long way up at Grimmer with a determined frown. "I want to thank you. I learned some things about myself tonight. And I… I needed this."

“Oh, no problem! I had a lot of fun, too. Honestly, we should do this again sometime. I mean it.”

“Um.” Tenma swallowed. “Yeah.”

He reached over and switched off his bedside lamp, and Grimmer went around to the other side of the bed and slipped under the covers. Tenma quickly did the same, and then Grimmer flicked the switch on his lamp and plunged the room into darkness once more.

“Say, are you the cuddling type?” Grimmer asked after a moment, his voice seeming louder in the pitch black.

“What?” Tenma shifted around in bed a bit, thinking. “Oh. I suppose so. But, if I’m being honest, what would really make me feel comfortable tonight is… well…”

“Come on, spit it out!” Grimmer’s voice was playful.

“I’d like to sleep with your back to mine. I know it sounds crazy, but, lately it makes me feel safer to have something at my back when I sleep.”

Tenma heard the rustling of sheets as Grimmer’s hand came slithering over to him and fumbled to touch his arm. “That doesn’t sound crazy at all,” said Grimmer. Tenma couldn’t see it, but he knew that Grimmer was smiling in the dark.

They arranged themselves back to back and settled down not long after. In hushed voices they said their goodnights. With the deep post-orgasm exhaustion pressing him down into the mattress and the wall-like weight of another person guarding him, Tenma finally drifted into a deeper sleep than he’d had in months.

Tomorrow would come, and maybe he would be prepared for it.


End file.
